English script is italicised underneath the original script.

Two young men are travelling in a railway couchette. One is blonde, tall and Finnish, the other is brown-haired, short and Hungarian.
It is the summer of 2002, somewhere in Italy.

Scene 1
Early evening
TIMO is on his laptop computer. Beside the laptop is a Nokia mobile telephone through which he is connected to the Internet. ZSOLT is watching him working. After a while Zsolt asks.

ZSOLT
Einsudigung. Sprachen sie Deutch?

Timo shakes his head with a wry smile, indicating ‘No’. Suddenly an express train passes by, giving them both a shock.

Short pause.

ZSOLT
Danmark?

TIMO
Finland.

ZSOLT
Ah! Finn. Nokia! (he points animatedly towards the mobile phone) Natürlich.

TIMO (he concentrates on the screen but answers Zsolt with a patient smile)
Yeaaah...Nokia.

ZSOLT (slightly nervous and with hesitation)
Und Litmanen....hah....

Timo is still staring at the laptop screen, his smile slowly fading due to Zsolt’s interruptions.

ZSOLT
Weis sie, das Senegal-France? Was ist die...

TIMO
I’m sorry, I don’t understand.

ZSOLT
Ich Internet, OK? Zwei minuten.(apologetically and by way of explaining) Fusball.

TIMO (even though he doesn’t like the idea)
Sure.

Zsolt leaps on the computer. We can see his face and suddenly he screams.

ZSOLT
IGEN! Igen!!
Yes! Yes!

Timo watches worriedly, fearing for his equipment.
Zsolt takes his own mobile from his pocket and starts to write a text message with a victorious smile.

ZSOLT (proudly)
Fogadás. Nyertem!
A bet. I won!

Timo shrugs his shoulders indicating he doesn’t understand.

ZSOLT
France, kaput, ich, geld, mit eine freund. Fünf tousand forint! (counting in his head) Ein moment...Zweinzich euro.(he has an idea) A, haben sie finn euro?

Timo looks apprehensively towards Zsolt.

ZSOLT (kapcsol)
Nézd (look).... (takes out some coins from his pocket) Deutchland, Österrecih, francözish, italia...alles different. Spezial. Und du?

TIMO (breaking into a relieved smile)
Ah. (offering a two Euro coin in his hand to Zsolt)

ZSOLT examines the coin.
TIMO is still smiling

ZSOLT
Wo ist „Finland?”

TIMO
Search.

ZSOLT (examining the coin)
Szörcs..szörcs...Ezen nincs rajta.
Search, search … it doesn’t say

TIMO shows the rim of the coin to Zsolt where the word ‘Finland’ is written.

ZSOLT
áááá, Szuper.

Zsolt returns the coin to Timo, they sit down.

TIMO
Which country are you from?

ZSOLT gestures that he doesn’t understand.

TIMO shows his passport. On the cover: European Union, Republic of Finland

ZSOLT is now smiling. He also takes his passport and shows it to Timo. On the cover: “ Magyar Köztársaság, Útlevél” Republic of Hungary
Now it’s Timo’s turn to think. Zsolt has a gleeful smirk.

Timo flicks through Zsolt’s passport.

TIMO
Ah , Hungary!

ZSOLT
Yes.

TIMO
Finnish-Hungarian.., that’s good. You know the history about Finnish and Hungarian? Finno-Ugrien?
(Timo would like to continue the conversation, but realises it’s too complicated to explain)

Insert:
500 BC. Two men in a wild landscape, one blonde and one brunette (both can be played by the same actors playing Zsolt and Timo). They are staring at a sign which indicates the North and the South.

Back to the train, close-up on Zsolt.

ZSOLT
Ja, ja, ich weis....

Insert continues. They separate and each goes in the opposite direction. One North, one South.

Back to the train.

ZSOLT
Scheisse. (smiles and offers his hand) Zsolt.

TIMO
Timo. Nice to meet you.

Exterior: The sun is going down. Time passes.

Scene Two
Zsolt searches for something in his bag. Timo is listening to his CD. Zsolt takes out an apple and offers it to Timo. Timo gently refuses.
The ticket inspector opens the door. He asks Zsolt for his ticket. Zsolt searches in desperation. Timo takes out two tickets from his pocket. The ticket inspector leaves.
ZSOLT
Aber....wahrum? Zwei ticket?

Timo would like to explain, but realises it’s impossible. One idea … a girl’s photo from his wallet.

TIMO
Its over. The end. No more love.

ZSOLT
Á.

Then Zsolt takes out a crumpled photo showing him with a girl in a romantic/humourous pose.

ZSOLT
Detto. Kaput.

They both sit in silence, but desperately would like to communicate with each other.

Sighs. Both try to find words to express their emotions, but fail.

ZSOLT
Warum ende?

TIMO
(Shrugs) Women. And you?

Zsolt cannot express his thoughts, and looks out of the window.

ZSOLT
Angol, angol....(taking his head in his hands)
English, english…

Zsolt looks at the ticket that Timo just handed him.

ZSOLT
Thank you.


Scene Three
It’s dark outside.
Zsolt takes out some sandwiches. He offers one first to Timo who accepts out of courtesy. They start eating. Suddenly Timo remembers something.

TIMO
Wait, is this made of butter?

ZSOLT
Was?

TIMO
I have a problem...lactose...

ZSOLT
Problem?

TIMO
(pointing at the sandwich) Moooo?

ZSOLT
Ah, nononon...röf röf!
Oh no, Grunt grunt

TIMO
Ah no....no...its not sure....thank you, sorry (hands back the sandwich)

Zsolt takes the sandwich disappointedly
They look at each other helplessly.

Scene Four

Now they are preparing for bed.
Zsolt takes off his T-shirt, on his back is a tattoo - the Pi symbol and a circle with a wavy line through.
When he turns around, he notices that Timo is staring at his tattoo.

TIMO
What’s this on your back?

ZSOLT
Ah, da ist....(thinking) Ah, túl nehéz.(too complicated) Pardon. Sprache. (making hand signals of a speaking mouth with his hand)

Scene Five
It is dark in the couchette. They are both lying in their beds.
As they are turning in bed, their eyes meet. They smile, there were a lot of adventures today, but unfortunately there is a huge language barrier. Suddenly the Customs Officer enters and switches on the light.

CUSTOMS OFFICER
Pasport, bitte.

Timo hands over his passport and after glancing at the cover, the Customs Officer hands it back. However he examines Zsolt’s passport carefully.
Zsolt and Timo’s eyes meet and Zsolt’s face says it all ‘It’s always the same story. Fuck them.’ The Customs Officer leaves the couchette.

TIMO
No European Union, right?

ZSOLT
Nem, talán 2004. Talán nemsokára.
No, maybe in 2004. Maybe soon.

But of course Timo doesn’t understand.
Now Zsolt slaps the air because he is tired and frustrated. He turns his back to Timo. Timo does the same and they both fall asleep.

Scene Six
By the time Timo wakes, Zsolt has packed and is ready to leave.

TIMO
Shit, where are we? Berlin?

ZSOLT
Nem nem, csak München.
No, just Munich.

TIMO
Ah, Munich.

ZSOLT
Leszállok. Auf weidhersein.
I’m off now. Goodbye.

TIMO
Ah...shit....(Half-asleep he gets out of bed) Good bye my friend.

Timo watches Zsolt leaving the couchette and descend onto the station platform. Timo scratches his head and looks for something in his bag. He takes out a business card. Zsolt shouts from the platform.

ZSOLT
Hello!

Timo passes his business card out of the couchette window to Zsolt on the platform. The conductor’s whistle indicates the train is ready to depart.

ZSOLT (in a humorous fashion)
Merci!

TIMO (responds automatically)
De rien.

The air freezes. They stare at each other in shock. The train starts pulling away. Zsolt spellbound, walks along with the train as it leaves, staring at Timo.

ZSOLT
Tu parles francais? (You speak French?!)

Timo very slowly nods in a regretful manner.

Zsolt looks astonished. He runs to keep up with the train.

ZSOLT
On est vraiment cons, hein? (We’re really stupid aren’t we?)

TIMO
Incroyable (Incredible)

ZSOLT
Je vais t’écrire! (I will write to you!)

TIMO
Merde.

Timo starts laughing.

ZSOLT
Meeerde!

Zsolt screams at the departing train and laughs, laughs.


THE END